What. The. Hell.

The following letter appeared in the May 28^th Edition of Stars & Stripes.

Army not a social experiment

Congress passed a law forbidding women from direct combat roles in 1994.

Women are not required to be registered for the draft, but men are.

Upon entering the Army, women are not required to get their hair all cut off, but men are. The reason for men getting their hair cut off is to let them know they are entering a whole new life. Women do not have this reality hit them in this way.

Women do not have to meet the same physical standards as male soldiers.

Why are women allowed into military academies? Academies prepare officers for leading men into battle. If women cannot go into battle, then they should be in ROTC or Officer Candidate School.

These are just some of the reasons women should not be called soldiers.

It seems Congress is hell-bent on using the military as its social experimental laboratory. Whatever social ill the United States has, Congress wants to try it out on the military first to see if it will work.

I am also tired of hearing about America’s fighting men and women. Women are not fighting these wars because it is against the law. Most of the casualties in the last three wars were men, not women. I wish the news media would stop portraying women as heroes for any little thing they do.

Since women have entered the Army in large numbers since 1974, the social problems that commanders have had to take on have been extraordinary. Most of them will not admit it because of fear of ending their careers.

If you want total equality in the military, then a standard must be set and all must attain it. Men and women need to have the same standard.

This is an Army we, the taxpayers, are paying for, not a social experiment.

Richard Pichette
Kuwait

Now, before I get into the meat of this misogynistic drivel, let me point out that our boy Richard is not himself in the Army. He's clearly a civilian. Retired Army folks will still claim the rank that used to be theirs – they're still LTCs and SGMs and CSMs – they just have a little (ret) that hangs on to the end of their name, indicating that though they were once among the proud warrior class, they are now, in the words of MacArthur, fading away.

Civilians, on the other hand, are just taxpayers, as Richard so helpfully points out. To that I say, write the checks, asshole, and stop trying to write policy.

Let's go through this happy horseshit line by line.

Congress passed a law forbidding women from direct combat roles in 1994.

Yes, and Congress also passed a law forbidding interracial marriage in 1883. Birth Control was illegal until 1968, and women couldn't vote until 1920. Owning slaves was legal until 1863. African-Americans only counted for 2/5s of a person until the passage of the 14^th Amendment after the Civil War. Up until 1970, you could be sent to die in wars started by the government, in which you had no voice because you were underage and couldn't vote. The POINT, dear readers, is that lawmakers are not gods, lawmakers are mere mortals, and as such they are hobbled by the shortsightedness of people raised with a certain mindset and a certain code of beliefs. This is why the Constitution is referred to as a "Living Document", because it grows and adapts as Americans do. We have the happy power to make changes to our laws and our government as our country and its citizenry evolve. This is why we can choose to elect new blood to the government every 2 (House), 4 (President) and 6 (Senate) years. (Except South Carolinians, who reelected Strom Thurmond 18 times, even though the man was over 100 years old and given to power naps while the Senate was in session. He served 6 months of his last term before anyone realized he was dead, and if you'd given the constituency their choice, they probably would've voted to just keep propping him up on sticks like a macabre Kermit the Frog.) Anyway, point is, times change. Bell-bottoms and male chauvinism went out in the 70s.

Women are not required to be registered for the draft, but men are.

The draft is an antiquated, unnecessary piece of legislature, and in any case stopped filling the ranks of the Armed Forces 30 years ago. Our Army is made up of volunteers, and in case you haven't noticed, the stop-loss program (called by some opponents a "back door draft") applies equally to male and female soldiers.

Upon entering the Army, women are not required to get their hair all cut off, but men are. The reason for men getting their hair cut off is to let them know they are entering a whole new life. Women do not have this reality hit them in this way.

AHAHAHA. Oh, wait. He was serious. And getting yelled at by Drill Sergeants, forced to wear a uniform, forced to stand at parade rest when speaking to a superior, learning to march, learning to shoot, learning to throw a grenade…these things don't hammer home the reality of being a soldier? Yes, he's right – having one's hair cut off is what makes a person combat-ready. How foolish we've been. I wonder why nobody realized this before? Think of the money we'll save! Basic training could be so much shorter, just boot a young 18-year old through a revolving door into a barber's chair, give the boy a high & tight, and out comes Captain America.

Women do not have to meet the same physical standards as male soldiers.

Ah. This is the unfortunate reality of being female. We aren't as strong as our male counterparts – but I still know plenty of females who can max the male PT test. This is a stupid argument anyway. I beat the pants off most of my guys on the PT test – their scale or mine.

Why are women allowed into military academies? Academies prepare officers for leading men into battle. If women cannot go into battle, then they should be in ROTC or Officer Candidate School.

And what do ROTC and OCS teach soldiers – flower arrangement? All three methods for minting officers have an infantry focus, because the Army believes in battle-focused training. There's a saying among military types -- "we're all infantry when the shit hits the fan". All three schools -- West Point, ROTC or OCS -- teach officers what they need to know to lead soldiers, be it into battle or into staff rooms. Anything else we need to know, we learn on the job.

These are just some of the reasons women should not be called soldiers.

And these are also some of the reasons I shall call you "Dick".

It seems Congress is hell-bent on using the military as its social experimental laboratory. Whatever social ill the United States has, Congress wants to try it out on the military first to see if it will work.

What ills does the United States have in regards to women? For crying out loud, you jackass, women can serve in dangerous jobs in the States – firefighters, policewomen, pilots…if anything, the military lags behind the civilian world, not the other way around.

I am also tired of hearing about America’s fighting men and women. Women are not fighting these wars because it is against the law. Most of the casualties in the last three wars were men, not women. I wish the news media would stop portraying women as heroes for any little thing they do.

Most of the casualties in the last three wars were men because the male soldiers a) are allowed to go on patrols, and b) make up a greater percentage of the Armed Forces than females. Trust me though, IEDs don't make allowances for ovaries.

Since women have entered the Army in large numbers since 1974, the social problems that commanders have had to take on have been extraordinary. Most of them will not admit it because of fear of ending their careers.

And this is the women's fault? That old 'women as the root of original sin' argument went out around the same time we realized we could have orgasms. Men must take responsibility for their penis – it doesn't just wander off and them in bad situations while they aren't looking. If soldiers are doing what men & women do when put together in a close situation for months on end…it's up to the leadership to enforce the standards, and it's up to the individuals to take a little responsibility.

What kills me about this letter is that this jackass is probably a civilian contractor -- which means he's over here making three times as much money as me, running his mouth and utilizing the right to free speech that I and my fellow soldiers joined up to protect. It takes all kinds, hm?

Friggin' IDIOTS.